We were dropping Ashlin off at college. We walked into her dorm room to find that it had been entirely decorated by her roommate. I was dumbfounded. I asked the roommate, a pretty young brunette with lots of energy why she decorated the entire room without Ashlin. “She’s deaf. I didn’t think she’d mind”, she retorted. My mind whirled. I won’t tell you how this dream/nightmare ended, but I did wake up sweating and breathing heavy; worried beyond belief. Should I go to the dean of students if this happens, I wondered. This is a form of bullying. Who do you do to at the college level? What does the Dean of Students do anyway?!
My heart ached most of the day. How am I going to protect her? How is she going to protect herself? What if her dorm mates play a prank on her in the middle of the night? How would we know if she was safe and okay? There are days when I am driving and I come up with ways for the girls to turn down a drink without loosing face at college (they could just say they are allergic, right?!). I don’t think I am neurotic; I may be Italian but all parents think this way, right?!
The thought of keeping my girls in a bubble is so appealing. No one will be able to play pranks on them or hurt them. No one will tease them. As Ashlin approaches double digits in age this spring I realize that more and more she is going to have to take care of herself; I am going to have to trust that she can do it and that she will be okay.
It is my and her father’s job to ensure she can take care of herself. It is our job to let her go and experience the world and the people in it; the good and the not so good. And you better believe that she will learn how to physically take care of herself! I guess I have to slowly start letting her take more care of herself. Both my girls are strong beings. They will be just fine! Right?!!!
