Posts Tagged ‘raising a hard of hearing child’

Yiesell Rayon: A Rude Encounter

March 19, 2019

It’s always exciting to try new things, but I never expected a rude encounter to come with it…

After a week long conference, a group of us wanted to get out and try “Chicago’s favorites.” Karen Putz, Co-Director of DHH Infusion, lives in the Chicago area. Anita Dowd and Virginia Moore from the Kentucky Commission for the Deaf joined us. We grabbed lunch at Lou Malnatis pizza. Karen kept bragging about Garrett Popcorn Shops and told us we had to try it.

“Let’s do it!” I said.

We didn’t have much time before we had to be at the airport.

“I’ll pull up right in front of the shop and you and Anita can get the popcorn while we drive around,”  Karen said.

The plan was to be in and out of the shop and then on our way with the amazing popcorn we just had to try.

As Anita and I walked into the shop, I noticed it was empty. It was a perfect time to ask for samples. We had never been to Garrett’s and they had five different flavors to choose from. Anita pulled out her phone to FaceTime her daughter to ask what flavored popcorn she wanted.

As I was talking to the young lady behind the counter, a man walked into the store.

“Go ahead and help him. We are still not ready.”, I told her. The lady asked the man to go around us to the register to take his order.

“Excuse me”, he told Anita.

No response.

“Excuse me!”, he said again a bit louder.

“I’m sorry, she’s Deaf”, I said as I turned around and noticed Anita was focused on her phone with her daughter.

“Move!” he yelled.

“I just told you, she’s Deaf.” I said.

“Well, tell her to f&%$& move!”

I instantly froze.

I was upset and insulted with the man’s reaction. As I looked at Anita, I realized she still had no clue what was going on.

“You don’t need to be rude,” I said.

At that moment, I became angry.

I have a seven year old Deaf son and this is the ignorance he will have to deal with. Anita had been signing with her daughter the entire time. How did this man not think she may be Deaf? I had already tried to explain she was Deaf. Why would he decide to be so rude? How does anyone have the heart to treat someone this way?

My heart was immediately broken.

Not just for Anita, but for every Deaf or Hard of Hearing individual out here, including my Deaf son, Markie.

The man rudely got around Anita as he replied, “Its not my f&%$* fault she’s Deaf”.

I became very emotional and started to tear up. Anita looked up in confusion and asked what was going on. I briefly and quickly tried to explained to Anita, but the man continued to yell out comments. The security guard approached the man and asked him to calm down. The manager of the shop came out from behind.

To our surprise, the manager knew some signs. Not much, but enough to make Anita feel comfortable and take her order. All of the Garrett’s employees were kind and kept asking if we were okay. They showed compassion–and kept apologizing for the man they didn’t even know.

The man left the store, but he left me upset. I had heard many stories over the years, but I had never experienced anything like this myself. The incident didn’t involve me, but it involved my friend, my Deaf friend. Someone who has lived life being Deaf, someone just like my son. I am afraid for the day my son is mistreated simply because he couldn’t hear. The man was right. Anita being Deaf was not his fault, but it is not Anita’s fault either. Being Deaf may be a challenge in today’s society, but its not a bad thing. What is bad, is when someone thinks its okay to be disrespectful to someone simply because they are Deaf.

Yiesell Rayon, Director of Latino Support

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

Katie McCarthy: Growing Up with Dual Identities

January 24, 2019

Today, I am a career-driven married woman, happily pursuing the little moments in life with a passion for human services, teaching, traveling, cooking and animals.

Ten years ago, I didn’t think it would even be possible to be married–and twenty years ago, I only had a glimpse into what life would be like for Deaf individuals.

Back then, I knew I could pursue any dream and I wanted to be a writer, however, I only met a few Deaf adults until college so I had a limited view of the opportunities that lay ahead as a Deaf individual. And back then, as a member of the LGBT community, my views were narrow, full of others’ fears and opinions thrust upon me, not my own happiness. Once I realized that I had to love myself first, that my worth and happiness were important and I was surrounded by people who saw me for who I was as a person, not my identities, my perceptions changed as I grew older.

When I was born, two identities were gifted to me. I was born profoundly Deaf, due to a premature birth, into a hearing family. I also realized I was not straight. Growing up with these two identities were honestly just like having two arms and legs, ten fingers and toes, green eyes, and a beating heart. I didn’t know any different inward. But outward, I realized quickly that growing up with dual identities was not simple. Many factors were at play – others’ opinions and social perceptions – and I had to navigate them.

I focused on growing up as a Deaf person first, and kept my second identity at bay for a long time. I thought it was impossible to grow up with two identities. It would be too much and people would look at me through different lenses if I revealed my second identity. And when that happened, I found I was still breathing. I survived. Many children and young adults do not (are not able to) speak up about it and feel safe in the process.

The five main things I would have told my younger self are:

1. Be gentle with yourself.
2. You are more resilient than you think.
3. Connect with those that you trust to be yourself with.
4. Meet others who are or have gone on similar journeys as yours.
5. Don’t change who you are for anyone else.

I want to tell these children and adults who grow up being Deaf and a member of the LGBT community – you are loved just as who you are. And I want to tell their parents that, even though it may feel overwhelming walking by your child through their identity journey when you may not have been on either yourself before you met your child, your child is just meant to be exactly who they are. Nurture the core of who they are, focus on the things they CAN do, meet other adults like them, and help them thrive. It is important to ensure the child is heard, understood and loved first, and then go through the journey with them, not above them.

Once I realized my worth, things naturally fell into place. I met my wife and we have a rich life together–full of laughter, faith and adventure. I have to pinch myself sometimes. How did I get so lucky? Then I realize immediately after, these two identities are a gift…and I embrace them wholly.

 

Katie McCarthy can be reached via karen@handsandvoices.org –she is willing to talk with families who have children with dual identities. 

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

LaShawna Sims: Deaf with Autism

December 5, 2018

I have heard that oftentimes the first deaf or hard of hearing person some people meet is their own deaf or hard of hearing child. While for us that wasn’t the case, we had a similar experience, but with a different diagnosis. We have two boys who are both severe to profoundly deaf and bilateral cochlear implant users. Our youngest, also has Autism.

We knew one person with Autism. All we knew of Autism was what we saw in that one individual. I remember telling myself things like; no, our youngest doesn’t have Autism. He doesn’t act the same way or do the same things that person does. I think it’s just that we don’t socialize him enough since his big brother started school. His progress, or lack thereof, in speech is fine. We were told that not all children with cochlear implants progress at the same speed. The professionals advised us to not compare his progress in speech with his older brother’s progress.


A common question asked in our home is, “Is it the Autism, the hearing loss or just him being a kid?”. Our son was diagnosed as “Moderate” and “High-Functioning” on the Autism Spectrum. He is also non-verbal but uses some ASL and the Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) to communicate with us. Over the years his receptive language skills have blossomed. Most days he wears his CIs with no issues. Other days, he knocks them off as if they are causing discomfort. It is often hard to determine whether or not he is having a sensory moment because of the Autism, being a “typical” child who is having a moment of defiance, or if there is something wrong with his CIs.

I like to say there is a lot of troubleshooting that goes on with our son. Some days he is happy to put his CIs on, while others days it can be a bit of a tug of war. I have a hard time somedays making him put his CIs on because in some ways I feel like I am not being mindful of his Autism diagnosis and what effects the “silence to instant sound” may have on him. Because his expressive language is still progressing, it can be a challenge to know exactly what is going on with him. He can let us know in sign or with PECS that he is hurt, sad, calm, or silly and wiggly. But when it comes to expressing exactly WHY he is feeling those ways, we aren’t always sure.

In the past, Logan has never really gotten a good “map” for his CIs and we think that is due to his Autism diagnosis. Getting him to reliably respond to any sounds he is hearing has been a work in progress. Before he was diagnosed, I dreaded going to the audiologist because it was a literal WWE match trying to hold him down just to run and impedance test. I can remember making sure that I wore clothes that would allow me to wrestle with him and not look completely disheveled after the appointment. Leaving those appointments, I would feel so defeated. I’d feel like I was a terrible parent for forcing him to go through the appointment. Then on the flip side, I knew that I wanted him to have as much good access to sound as possible because that’s what he needed if we wanted him to eventually use spoken language. For a number of years, all of his “maps” were manually made and set very conservatively.

Once we got the Autism diagnosis, things changed for the better. His behaviors all began to make sense. We started ABA therapy for him. His therapists have been quite accommodating in respecting our wishes of incorporating ASL in his therapy as a way of communication. Almost all of his therapists knew not one sign in ASL. Now, many of them have been inspired to learn more ASL and even use it with some of their other non-verbal clients. We’ve even had much better success at the audiologist! I can happily say that I no longer have to wear my “wrestling” attire to an appointment. With the help of his ABA therapists, we have worked on “mock audiology appointments” which have proven to be successful for Logan. He has gotten the best “maps” he’s ever had in his initial years of having cochlear implants.

While things are progressively getting better, we still have our struggles. We are learning together as a family. It’s not easy to pick apart which diagnosis is causing whatever action, feeling or emotion he may be experiencing. All we can do is take it day by day and one step at a time. In all of those hours and steps, we revel in the fact that he is uniquely him and we love every little thing about him. It makes us stronger as individuals and stronger as a family. Even though we have had some hard days, it’s always nice to look back at those struggles and celebrate how far Logan has come. It’s a great reminder that despite our current struggle, we will overcome it together as a family. For that, we are blessed and grateful for this unique journey.

LaShawna Sims, Bilingual Southern Nevada Regional Guide

Nevada Hands & Voices

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

The Journey of Acceptance

October 24, 2018

During a staff discussion, the topic of “acceptance” came up. The journey of raising a child who is deaf/hard of hearing is an intensely personal one.

Hands & Voices posted this question on our Facebook page.

Parents,

Tell us about your experience:

I realized that I accepted my child’s deaf/hard of hearing journey when__________________.

Here are the responses that were shared:

I realized that I was given the gift of being this small human’s mommy, and God had His own plans for me with this journey. It was about a week after she was identified with bilateral severe/profound sensori-neural loss.


 

When I was no longer angry! It took a long time to get there also, probably 7+ years.


I realized that I accepted my child’s hard of hearing journey when she answered audible questions in sign language. She also has Apraxia of Speech, so her ability to form verbal words is super tough.


I was young when I had my daughter 18, 19 when I found out her hearing loss. I use to blame myself, that I had done something to cause this. When I stopped blaming myself and realizing that she was extra special. We started signing when she was 5-6 months old. I accepted it, when I stopped punishing myself for it..When she was one she got implanted with cochlear implants and that’s when our real journey started. Reaching milestone after milestone. She started first grade this year!


I found a sign language book at the store at the mall (remember when they had them) and started teaching her myself. At that point, no one official accepted she was deaf. Later, we switched to cued speech. That was on us, too. It was a very rocky road before diagnosis (thanks, Arlington Hearing Resources!)


I let go of the idea of what a “normal” child should be.


I accepted it immediately so that I could move forward and educate myself for my child, as denial gives no benefit to anyone. However, I have experienced several evolutions of understanding and ways of guiding my child, since there is no one resource or guide that applies to all deaf/hoh, or their attitude towards deaf culture. It is ALL on us as parents, that’s for sure… Educators and deaf culture can’t come together, and it is a terribly sad thing.


Honestly, not sure if I have fully accepted it yet. Going on three years now. I am waiting for the day to talk about it without crying. Y’all give me hope I will one day be able to fully and truly accept it.


I realized that I accepted my child’s deaf/hard of hearing journey when I had connected with parents and families, deaf adults and providers to learn from and feel supported. Transformational learning can not be done in isolation.


When she became “okay” with it. She got her hearing aids in the 3rd grade and was excited. Until the 5th grade…seeing her struggle with self esteem and not socializing hurt me to the core. She is now 15…growing in self advocacy confidence is returning…she wears her aids with no problem and is beginning to make d/hoh friends thru the camps she attended this summer.


When I was told she was hard of hearing.  It didn’t make a difference to me.


Well I have a twin brother who is profoundly deaf. My oldest son, we knew something was up around 2 months old they didn’t do newborn screen then. I accepted it right away, maybe because I grew up with it.When I was pregnant with my daughter we were prepared either way she is fine. Then there’s my 9 year old, we knew the second I found out he was a boy I knew he would have a hearing loss just not sure how bad.He was miss diagnosed 2 times before it came back moderate hearing loss.He also had severe speech delay with it my oldest never had speech problems.


I realized I had accepted my child’s hard of hearing journey when I could tell our story to other parents and not cry, but smile because the journey had made us so much stronger.


When I realized my strong, intelligent, beautiful girl; full of personality, can do anything anyone else can. Straight A’s and headed to the 7th grade! Proud mama.


I realized that I accepted my two sons’ deaf journey when I made friends with deaf adults and learned that it was all going to work out. I now consider their deafness to be my greatest gift. I have grown in ways that I never dreamed were possible.


My son was diagnosed when he was three. H&V, you all are great, and helped us to understand what we were going thru. I miss you all .


When my child was able to ask for help via sign language (at 10 months).


My husband is partially deaf (50% without hearing aids, 80% with), so we always knew it was a possibility. For my daughter, after her hearing test at age three. She had already failed the newborn screening, and had had two inconclusive ABRs. My son was as soon as he was born. Failed his newborn screening, but does have better hearing than my daughter.


I realized that God had blessed us!


I realized I accepted my daughter’s Deah/HOH journey when I met and got to know happy, well-adjusted, self-confident & successful d/hh adults who were willing to share their stories & culture, and also connected with parents who were supportive & knowledgeable. This process of acceptance & honoring continues today as I get to experience her as a happy, successful, self-confident mother & professional who is bi-lingual/bi-cultural.


It took me like six years to accept that he was hard of hearing and in the seventh year, my girl was born with the same problem and for me it was very hard, she is 4 years old and the boy 10. and I think I have not accepted it completely, I still wonder why?


Me tomo como 6 años, aceptarque el tenia perdida de audición bilateral y al séptimo año nació mi niña con el mismo problema y para mi fue muy duro, ella tiene 4 años, y el niño, 10 años. Creo que no lo he aceptado completamente, aún me pregunto por que?


He was one day old and failed two newborn hearing screenings. God gave me this beautiful little soul and made him how he saw fit. It’s my job to join him on this journey and help him any way that I can. My baby can do ANYTHING he sets his mind to.


I had an official diagnosis.


I could mention it to other people without breaking down and bawling my eyes out. It’s still a tough pill to swallow but it’s getting easier, but I still wonder why it happened. Now I just worry about the bullying I’m afraid he’s going to receive growing up (kids are mean).


I just wanted to share with you about my hearing parents . My hearing parents wanted me to be like other hearing peers . She (my mom) wanted me to manage and communicate better in the hearing World. She wanted me to hear and speak better in order to communicate via hearing people . I understand and respect their wishes . I can not change their views and opinions . They’re my mom and dad …


EHDI (Early intervention) did not exist when my daughter was born. That being said, once we had the diagnosis I was relieved, but not surprised as there is a history of deafness in our family. We charged onward. My daughter is very strong, independent, proud, beautiful Deaf woman who dreams big!


I realized it when I began to meet other families with children who were both deaf and hard of hearing. Seeing how “normal” they were and how they did everything else hearing children do. Once I let go of feeling embarrassed, to be open about it. I’m so proud of my deaf daughter. I love educating people who ask me. It makes me feel empowered and honored to be her mama.  Plus, I’ve met the most amazing families along this journey and when I think about if it weren’t for my daughter I might not know any of them…wow. I am so lucky!


Right before our appointment where the audiologist confirmed hearing loss… (12.5 months) after 12 months and roughly 6 audiology visits, two ENT visits, and starting Early start a couple months prior, I realized how sad I would be if she was determined to have normal levels and we would be kicked out of the program we loved so much with all of our DHH infant friends. Def made it easier to face the other challenges that came our way.


I don’t know. When she got accepted to Gallaudet?
Seriously though, about a week after diagnosis. I come from a family peppered with Deaf people. I knew the old realities, but man, so much has changed.


I realized that I accepted my son’s hard of hearing journey when he began to wear his hearing aids without being asked to. When he began to realize he needed them, I knew it was a real deal!


…when a family member said “he won’t have to wear his hearing aid all the time, will he? Like in photos?”

…when others’ lack of acceptance becomes your moment of acceptance!!


I went to my first Michigan Hands and Voices conference and met so many others from infancy to adults who thrive each day. I knew that my son thrives in his own way.

 

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

Amanda McDonough: They Think I CAN’T, I Know I CAN

August 6, 2018

They Think I CANT. I Know I CAN.
By: Amanda McDonough (Deaf Advocate, Motivational Speaker, and Author of “Ready to be Heard”)

Like most children, when I was born my parents told me I could become anything I wanted to be. After I was diagnosed with hearing loss, at four years old, I started hearing the word “can’t” a lot. It came from doctors, teacher, adults, kids, family members, and family friends. All of a sudden, the world’s expectations of what I could achieve with my life had decreased seemingly overnight. People seemed to believe that having “hearing loss” had somehow lowered my drive, intelligence, and ability to learn. At first, I believed them. I thought of myself as lesser than my peers. My self-esteem dropped. The social kid I once was started retracting into her self a little bit more with each missed sentence, each confused smile, and each uttering of the word “what?” as I failed again and again to keep up in conversations with my peers.

Every six months, my mother would take me back to the audiologist, who would lead me into that tiny grey metal box of a room and shut me in for my hearing tests. A room that felt more like a prison than anything. Over and over again I would take the same tests, repeat the same words “airplane, baseball, hot dog…” as they faded into oblivion, and chase the impossible beeps with my finger on a buzzer. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I “studied,” each time I failed. I hated the feeling of “failing” more than anything. So, even though I had no control over how well I did in that little grey room, I realized I had 100% control over how I reacted to it, and how I behaved and viewed the world outside of that room. In that moment, I decided to stop being the “victim” of my story and become the “hero.”

I knew in my heart that being hard of hearing didn’t completely define who I was, what I was interested in, or what I was passionate about. Being hard of hearing was something about me, just like having brown hair is something about me. It was a contributing factor to my personality but didn’t need to define every decision and moment of my life.

I started dedicating myself more to my studies. I realized that if I kept the teacher on my “good hearing side,” studied, payed attention in class, asked questions, and read the material I could get A’s. Sure, it looked easier for everyone else, but each “A” on my report card made me feel more powerful and more in control of my own life and destiny. It wasn’t easy, this was back in the early 1990’s when parents of children with hearing loss didn’t have the resources, support, and information they do now. My parents were on their own. Therefore, I didn’t have full access to the language and information being taught to me in my mainstream school, but I had an unstoppable work ethic and had banished any memory or thoughts of the word “can’t” from my mind. I knew “I CAN.”

I ended up becoming a straight A student. Even as my hearing continued to decrease as I grew older, the work ethic I developed as a kid kept my grades and my resolve strong. I had less than 50% of the hearing left in each of my ears in high school and I still managed to graduate 8th in my class.

In college, I finally lost the last of my usable hearing and became undeniably physically deaf. Even though I wasn’t emotionally ready to accept my deafness, I still kept working towards my goal of graduating from college. I obtained real-time captioners in my classes, attended tutoring, and put in hours of work into even my easiest classes.

By 2012, I was 100% deaf in both ears as I walked down the aisle with my head held high during my college graduation to receive the two college degrees I had finished in four short years with a 3.15 GPA.

All because I knew I CAN.

The moral of my story: Never let others tell you what you are capable of. You get to decide your own path. You get to be the hero of your own story. No matter what your obstacles are in life, you CAN.

 

For more information on  Amanda: Ready to Be Heard 

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

Autism or Hearing Difference? Tweezing out the Differences

May 4, 2018

By: Kristi Riley

IMG_20180401_123932

One of the big questions researchers have in the D/HH and autism world is, how do you tell the difference between hearing loss symptoms and autism symptoms? As a mom of a child with a severe hearing difference and a child with both mild autism and a mild hearing difference, I have gotten to see first hand what some of these differences may look like. I am in the process of earning my doctorate degree in clinical audiology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I am also a family trainee in the Wisconsin LEND Program (Leadership Education in Neurodevelopmental and Related Disabilities) at the Waisman Center, where I have learned about different developmental disabilities in children. I was recently trained through LEND on how to administer the ADOS. I have friends who are D/HH and friends who are on the autism spectrum. I can tell you for certainty that narrowing down the symptoms of hearing loss and the symptoms of autism is no walk in the park, and requires the subjective feedback from both parents who know the child best and the objective analysis of trained professionals.

IMG_20180401_124804

In 2012 when my daughter Lauralee was born, she failed her newborn hearing screening. Right away, we were whisked into bimonthly audiology appointments. Being music teachers at the time, my husband, Justin, and I were concerned not only about her ability to enjoy music, but her ability to gain access to language and literacy. If you can’t hear, you can’t speak. If you can’t speak, you can’t read. If you can’t read, then just about every subject that crosses your path is affected. (Who cares about aspirations of Julliard!) Learning to talk, read, then write affects every single subject in school. Lauralee was not officially diagnosed until 6 months old. She did not get her first pair of hearing aids until she was 11 months old. We were worried about her language development.

Lauralee has always been very alert and interactive. She has always made good eye contact and loved to play. She is goofy and is such a joy to be around. Even though she did gain the stereotypical “mama and dada” babble in the first few months, she mostly talked with her facial expressions. I decided to get the Signing Time DVDs, and she and I soaked-up sign language. It was like we had our own “secret language”. I always felt like we had a deep connection. Sometimes, I seriously questioned whether she was truly deaf or if it was all a big mistake!

IMG_20180401_124100

In 2014 (right after I started my path to audiology), we had our son, Oliver. He was such a beautiful baby and I was ecstatic to find out he passed his newborn hearing screening. Even though he had a short NICU stay after he was born, he ultimately seemed healthy in every way. When we brought him home, right away I noticed he was a little different from Lauralee. He was fussier and cried a lot. I chalked it up to being a different personality. Besides, I was a fussy kid too! I’ll never forget, at around 7 weeks, I was holding Oliver in my lap attempting to do face time. He would not look at me nor smile. He seemed so disconnected. I would force my face into his gaze until I got a reaction. But ultimately, I did not connect with him like Lauralee. I felt guilty.

When Oliver was about 3 or 4 months old I started subbing at a local daycare. Oliver stayed in the infant room while Lauralee was in the 2-year-old room. Lauralee was immediately the “favorite friend”. Kids would follow her around because she was so expressive and out-going. She caught-up academically and knew all her letters and sounds by the time she was 3. Oliver, on the other hand, was making minimal progress. He had little ticks like “twinkle hands” when he was curious, leg tensing and screaming when he was excited, and head shaking when he was bored. He did not learn to sit until he was over 10 months old.

When Oliver was around 12 months old, I contacted birth-to-3 about my concerns. He started receiving OT services right away. Weeks went by and Oliver did not learn to walk. He resisted every idea the therapist had. One night while crying my eyes out, my husband told me about this place called the Wisconsin Early Autism Project. I doubted autism because Oliver was gaining language and had okay eye contact but I went along with the idea just in case…

Two summers ago, I realized Oliver was saying “what?” a lot. Sometimes he would ignore me all together. He had not yet started autism therapy, and I wondered if it was his hearing. On a last ditch effort to prove it was NOT autism but something else, I asked my professor if we could test him. She agreed.

Testing day was a nightmare and an absolute embarrassment. Oliver screamed bloody murder in the sound booth and was ultimately untrainable. We waited six months and got a few frequencies. We waited another couple of months and got a few more frequencies- my professor is amazing! Ultimately, it looked like Oliver DID have a mild hearing loss in one ear (which newborn screenings do not catch). (YESSS!) We confirmed objectively through ABR over the summer. Even though he had a mild loss, my professor made the point that the loss would not affect his language development nor his behavior. The autism diagnosis stuck. (Darn.)

IMG_20180330_150408

I have finally come to terms with Oliver’s diagnosis. I don’t know why it took me so long. Maybe because there is a stigma about autism or a stigma about children with “poor behavior”. Lauralee made me feel like an amazing mom. Oliver challenges me every step of the way. Looking back, there’s no doubt Oliver has the right diagnosis. And to tell you the truth, he’s a good little boy.

Both autism disorder and hearing disorders are a spectrum. Every case is different. Someone could have the exact same audiogram as Lauralee but be affected more. There is so many intricate connections between the peripheral hearing system and the cortical synapses in the brain where hearing and cognition happen that something could go haywire at any point along the auditory pathway. Some one could have mild autism like Oliver but have a completely different set of abilities or behaviors affecting everyday life. Because of all these factors, it’s hard to truly come up with a set of “symptoms” that separate autism and hearing differences.

Maybe rather than separating the disabilities as two separate entities, maybe hearing loss is a symptom of autism. Autism on a basic level is caused by sensory wiring differences in the brain. There have been several studies showing the autistic auditory pathway is wired differently from the neuro-typical pathway. Perhaps hearing differences, whether peripheral or cortical, are a common symptom of autism. But the social insufficiencies that are commonly associated with autism do not translate to a person with deafness.

People who are deaf but given adequate language access through sign or otherwise, develop socially normal. Yes, a person may have to grab their attention differently but ultimately a deaf person is very socially aware. Autism can make a person seem “deaf” because they lack social cues like eye-contact and quick verbal responses. Neuro-typical people with deafness do not lack these social differences when given the chance to communicate. You can see it clearly in my children, but we are only one example on the entire spectrum.

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

The Cornerstone of Parent Choice

April 2, 2018
Most recently, we have been asked to clarify our position on parent choice. Supporting parents in making their own informed choices for the child they know best is central to everything we do.
 
The Cornerstone of Parent Choice
By Karen Putz,
Co-Director of Deaf/Hard of Hearing Infusion
Hands & Voices
 
In my very first job right out of college, I informally took on the role of being a mentor to a family with a toddler who was deaf. I had no formal training, other than my own experience of growing up hard of hearing, becoming deaf as a teen, and learning American Sign Language shortly after. That first experience of working with families was so enjoyable for both the family and for me that I began to get calls from more and more families. I happily provided mentoring support, even though my primary job was structured toward independent living for teens and adults.
 
Then I got a call that would change my life and eventually lead me formally down the path of parent support…
 
A mom called to ask for support services and resources. She had just found out her six-month old daughter was deaf. I debated whether to take the appointment, for I had just turned in my resignation letter to stay home with my own newborn baby. Since the family lived near my home, I took the appointment.
david and aubrey
I ended up mentoring that family on my own out of sheer passion for the work. We held sign classes in her home and the neighbors joined in. We mentored other families together. In an ironic twist, this mom was also there to support me when my toddler became profoundly deaf two years later. It was that moment that my journey became personal–now I was the mom of a deaf kid. Everything shifted in the way I provided support from that point on, because I was now walking down the parenting path with my own experiences. My husband and I were now facing the process of choices and decisions we had to make for our child (and the two that followed).
 
And that changed everything.
 
As a parent, we are responsible for all kinds of decisions for our children. My husband and I soon learned that NOT making a decision was a decision in itself–and we had to own the consequences of that path as well.
 
In 2004, I stumbled upon Hands & Voices while putting together a website for parents in Illinois. The minute I read the description of the organization, I knew it was a fit for our family.
 
Who are we? We are parents of ASL signers, cued speech users…. parents of kids with cochlear implants or total communicators… we are people who have common interests connected through the community of deafness. Hands & Voices is a safe place to explore options, get unemotional support (although we can be emotional about it!), learn from one another and share what we have in common. We value diversity and honor the role of parents and family as the single greatest factor in raising a WASK (our favorite acronym: Well-Adjusted Successful Kid).
 
“There is room in the community of deafness for an organization like Hands & Voices, and in fact, I think parents, and even many professionals, have been crying out for a group like this,” says Leeanne Seaver, Board member. “Somehow parents connecting to other parents provides an element of credibility; there’s a level of ‘knowing & feeling’ that only a parent experiences. And parents, especially parents of babies newly identified with deafness or hearing loss, need a way to connect like this without being wary of a sponsoring agenda from a service provider.”
 
Hands & Voices is a nonprofit, parent-driven organization dedicated to supporting families of children who are deaf or hard of hearing. We are non-biased about communication methodologies and believe that families can make the best choices for their child if they have access to good information and support.
 
Everything about the organization matched what I felt was most needed. Parent choice. Support for diverse communication options. Coming together for common causes. Support by parents for parents on the parenting journey.
putz kids 2
It is now many years later; my kids are now young adults. I’ve been a board member, a founder of a state Hands & Voices chapter (along with the parent I previously mentored), and I am now working as staff. Through the years, we’ve remained steadfast in our mission and vision to provide support to parents on the journey. We work with a diverse group of parents from all walks of life and all different stages of their journey.
 
From time to time, we are asked for our position on a variety of topics. Most recently, we have been asked to clarify our position on parent choice. Supporting parents in making their own informed choices for the child they know best is central to everything we do. When it comes to the parent’s right to choose, we stand firmly behind this concept:
 
Parents not only have the right to choose language and communication modality for their child who is deaf or hard of hearing, they have the ethical, legal and moral obligation to do so. Furthermore, the research proves that the single greatest indicator of a DHH child’s eventual success—regardless of which mode or method of communication is used—is the meaningful involvement of his or her parents. The goal is to make that involvement authentic, effective and informed by the wisdom that so many have to share from direct experience…parent-to-parent, deaf or hard of hearing adult to parent, and professional to parent.
 
putz kids
The parenting journey is filled with twists and turns. As a mom of three kids, I’ve experienced this firsthand. As a Deaf Mentor in early intervention, I’ve had the honor of being a part of a family’s journey often from the beginning. As a staff person with Hands & Voices, I’ve had the opportunity to work with a variety of families negotiating this journey around the world. I’ve seen it time and time again–even in the midst of difficult situations and trying times–there’s so much more that unites us than divides us. We must continue to focus on the common goal: building an informed community surrounding parents so they can nurture the seed of potential in every child.
Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

Jordan Livingston: Becoming a Pilot

March 22, 2018

jordan livingston pilot

Jordan Livingston has a dream: he wants to become a commercial pilot, aviation safety officer, and a flight instructor. And he’s well on his way!

Jordan was born deaf and from a very young age, he dreamed of flying. Both of his parents worked in the aviation industry so Jordan grew up around planes. He obtained his pilot’s license in high school and interned at Southwest Airlines. He’s currently on a quest to complete his education and obtain the aviation hours necessary to certify him to fly commercially.

jordan livingston southwest

Take a moment to watch this Hands & Voices interview with Jordan and learn how he’s blazing through the barriers to become a commercial pilot:

 

An article on Jordan: Deafness Doesn’t Ground Aspiring Pilot 

Jordan’s experience at Southwest Airlines:  Southwest Intern is Defying the Odds to Become a Pilot 

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail